Each person grieves the passing of a loved one in their own unique way. This time may be especially stressful on the family members who are having to contain their emotions in order to make important decisions and proper interment arrangements. When all mourners follow the basic funeral etiquette guidelines, it helps to relieve some of the burden on the bereaved and allows everyone to say their personal farewells.
Generally speaking, utilizing a bit of discretion and practical common sense will guide one through most situations. For all others, there are a few basic principles that may be applied. It is important to note that should the deceased have made special requests or belonged to a religion or culture with specific traditions, those should be followed by all attendees as a matter of respect.
Clothing is one topic that almost always comes up in discussions regarding proper funerary behavior. The safest decision is to wear something conservative, of a dark color, with no pattern or one that is very muted and that will not draw the attention of the crowd away from the one being mourned. Unless the requests or beliefs of the deceased state otherwise, this is the best choice of attire for men and women.
It is important that one not show up late to the funerary services. If possible, try to be there about fifteen minutes early so that one has time to greet fellow mourners and still be seated before the proceedings are ready to commence. When delays are unavoidable, enter quietly and remain at the rear of the room or wait outside to avoid disturbing others.
One may offer condolences in person, through phone calls or by sending cards and letters. However they are delivered, they should be brief yet sincere messages without any well meaning advice on dealing with loss as that may be better appreciated at a later date. Most appreciate the sharing of memories as long as the deceased remains the center of focus.
These types of proceedings allow family and friends the opportunity to exchange touching memories of a lost love one, to pay respects to the bereaved and to say their final farewells. Emotions are high and sensitive during these times and following funeral etiquette reduces the risk of anyone becoming more upset than necessary. If unsure of what is the proper thing to do, one would do well to resort to common sense and discretion.