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Grief - Help to Move Through it,
Understand it and Cope
By Wendy Kay
Grief is yours to own, and no one will ever expect you
to forget your grief. Grief cannot just be cured or
dismissed, as the hurt surrounding grief is there
because of your connection with the loved one you lost.
Grief can keep time standing still, and it is very
common for people to not want to move through life
anymore. Grief can make us want to remain close to the
point in time of the grief, through maintaining the same
surroundings, locations, routines and rituals.
Grief is loss. Loss of being able to see and interact
with your loved one, loss of touch, loss of sharing of
emotions, and loss of control over your own life. Grief
is viewed as a permanent loss of connection with your
loved one.
For most people, time, faith, other people, and their
own personal journey helps them eventually cope with
their grief and gradually move back into the flow of
life.
But for some, and perhaps you feel this way too, it is
just not possible to carry on as you were before the
event or time that caused your grief. Grief and loss
changed everything. You might be pretending to cope, or
just not even caring, and both of those are very normal
too.
But have you thought about your loved one you lost? In
the laws of the universe there is a saying:
"As we are here, as we are there". Our journeys survive
death, and just as we were here, so we are there when we
pass over. There is still much to participate in, things
to do, and personal journeys for our passed over loved
ones to discover.
Death is not final, it only brings about loss of
communication between yourself and your loved one. You
lose the communication through site, touch, smell and
hearing with your loved one due to the deep sense of
loss and grief that overwhelms you. You wish for all
these things to happen once more, to see, feel, listen
and smell your loved one's comforting presence.
But what about how your loved one is feeling? They are
now discovering other senses that we only learn about
when we pass over. What doesn't change is the strong
bonds of love you both shared. For your loved one that
means sadness too at not being able to comfort you as
you grieve, or to communicate with you that they are ok.
Your grief will keep them close, worried and concerned
for your welfare, but as in life this is not good for
those we love. We all have journeys and part of that
journey is to grow and develop with the blessings of our
nearest and dearest knowing we can because of their
support and love. Your loved ones become stuck, just as
you too are stuck in your grief now.
So, just as in life, you can help your loved one
continue their journey when they pass over. Talk to
them, tell them you love them and you want them to be
all they can be, just exactly the same as you wanted for
them in life. You will release them to continue their
journey and grow, and through replacing your deep grief
with loving support again, you will also start to very
slowly move forward with your lives journey too.
They will not leave you though.. do not think that
because you release them you are saying goodbye to
them.. Your loved ones will always be around you, just
like in life as we grow, we come and go, and if we
really want to we can return anytime we like to visit.
If you have unresolved questions about your grief visit
my Grief page at my website link where you can submit
your question and I will answer it for you. ( Messages,
understanding death, what happens when we die, how to
know your loved one is ok, etc)
Wendy Kay- Understands death, grief and passing over
since very young age. Cares deeply about people who are
grieving and also their loved ones who have passed over
and grieve and worry for their loved ones on the other
side who aren't coping. Talks and helps many people lost
in grief. |
