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5 Stages of Grief - What to Expect
During Bereavement
By Jean Wright
You may be surprised to learn that the Kubler-Ross' 5
Stages of Grief do not even apply to the death of a
loved one! Elizabeth Kubler-Ross was a pioneer in humane
and compassionate care for the dying. She proposed her
"5 stages" to help explain the process a dying person
goes through in coming to accept his own impending
death. She later said that she never intended her theory
to "help tuck messy emotions into neat packages".
There is no single pathway or progression through grief,
and that is the main fault of any attempt to stage grief
like this. And so, we warn you not to take the following
"5 Stages of Grief" to heart. Grief is actually
unpredictable. You may go through a stage and then find
yourself looping back for another go at it. The stages
may even occur out of order.
That being said, we present the following 5 Stages of
Grief in hopes of explaining in general what lies ahead
for you. We strive to help give you a "handle" on the
process:
Numbness & Denial - Shock. Feelings of disbelief or
unreality that this terrible thing has really happened
to you.
Yearning & Anger - Once the shock has worn off, you will
long deeply for your lost loved one. You may be very
angry at everyone involved, or at God for allowing this
to happen.
Emotional Despair & Sadness - This is the long,
drawn-out period of true bereavement. The reality of
your great loss sinks in. "The thick of the storm".
Reorganization - You learn how to deal with the
practical business of living... without your loved one
at your side. A few positive emotions start to reappear
in your psyche.
Letting Go & Moving On - Sadness starts to lessen and
your loss fades into the background of your life. New
interests take on importance. You create a new,
tolerable existence for yourself, born out of necessity.
So how long does all this take? There is no true
timetable for grief, just as there are no true,
clear-cut 5 stages of grief. Some people return to a
fairly decent state of mind in a matter of months, while
others become mired in a complicated grief that takes
years of professional counseling to resolve. You will
likely fall somewhere between these two extremes, and
take between 1 to 2 years to see a final resolution of
your grief.
We have provided these guidelines on the stages of grief
simply to help you better understand the grieving
process, and to help you cling to hope for the the
future. Yes, things will eventually get better, and you
will survive this tragedy. There are some coping
strategies that can help you through your grief in a
more comfortable and healthy way; you can access some of
these free tips from the resource box below. |
