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Dealing With Death
By Jesus Smith
Losing a loved one is one of the most traumatic events
that someone can experience. It is inevitable, as we
will all die at one point or another, that you will at
some time in your life lose someone that you care about.
You never know when that time will come that will
unavoidable change your life. For me, I was 16 years
old.
It was a week before my junior year spring break was
scheduled to begin. It was late. I was at home, asleep.
I kept having dreams of bells ringing. Not like a
doorbell, or a phone ring, or anything like that. It was
the ringing of church bells, over and over. Suddenly, I
awoke to a light in the stairway that I could see from
my bedroom door. My mom appeared in my doorway seconds
later, sobbing. She was trying to talk to me, but I
couldn't make out what she was saying. Maybe it was
because I had been woken up suddenly, or because my
mother's sobs wouldn't allow for the words to come out.
I was immediately wide awake, confused, heart racing,
and already hurting before even knowing what was to
come.
She couldn't say it. She couldn't tell me, or say for
the first time that her son had died. My brother, my
only sibling, had died. She told me that my dad was on
the phone and that I needed to talk to him. As I
listened to my father start, "There was an accident..."
I instantly asked in a frantic, "Is he ok? Is he ok?
Where is he? Is he ok?" I knew that it was bad. I knew
that it was my brother, and I knew that it was bad.
Then, the life altering words left my father's mouth.
"Paul died."
For me, living in a world without my older brother had
been unknown for me. How would I survive without him?
What would I do without my protector? He was my family,
what would I do without my family? I was so empty and
disoriented; I didn't know what to do next. I had to
begin to rebuild my life without my older brother. For
the longest time, my memories belonged in one of two
categories: before he died, and after. People always say
that time heals all wounds. It doesn't. You learn to
live with the loss, and eventually you become good at
it. As days pass, and the rebuilding begins, life will
get easier.
Jesus has been a writer his whole life. He writes many
articles about a lot of topics. He specializes in mental
health but you can check out his recent site where he
writes about a gone with the wind poster and also about
gone with the wind costumes. |
