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Normal Grief - The Grieving Process
By Cheryline Lawson
Grief is a normal process that happens to all us during
our lifetime. As we go through life, we go through many
types of grief that are inevitable. It is unreal to
think that we cannot suffer any loss in our lives. Being
prepared for it is the hardest part.
Grief is the response to any type of loss common to man.
Most of the unrecognized situations in our lives have
resulted in grief that we are not ready to face. We see
grief as interfering with our lives rather than it being
a part of our lives and that is why when grief occurs,
we do not want to accept it which results in the
difficult to relate to it as being any part of our daily
lives.
As adults, we do not discuss any kind of loss with our
children, so when the loss of a loved one happens to the
family, the children are unprepared for it and then it
may be a little too late to explain that grief is a
normal affair. We avoid the subject of death and dying
even though this is a mandate in anyone's life. We want
to believe that everything will last forever, which is
not the case.
Even when we do experience the death of a loved one and
get past the grief, we try to suppress it as if it did
not happen and so when we have to go through the same
thing again, it is always harder to do so. It is not to
say that grief is a learned experience, but we need a
support mechanism to show us how to deal with it once it
is here because pushing it way will hurt us in the
future. Our previous losses not dealt with will make the
current loss harder to deal with.
If we treat grief as a normal part of our lives, it will
make the grieving process a little easier to accept and
help us to be stronger if we have to go through the same
ordeal later on. In other words, if we acknowledge the
truth that losing a loved one is a possibility and
explore the facts through discussion, then grief and
grieving will become related to the process of life.
Grief is open ended and constantly evolving from the
cycle of life. It is a phenomenon that all of us must
face. The truth is that most of us refuse to visit the
subject before it takes place. I am guilty of that
myself. When my mother wanted to talk to me about what
to do if she died before me, I would stop the
conversation and tell her that I don't want to talk
about it. Now that we have lost 4 close family members
to different types of death, I welcome the discussion so
that I can try as best as I can to mentally prepare for
such a traumatic event. I am not saying it is going to
be easy, but at least, I have an indication that it
might.
You might not want to face the unavoidable loss of a
loved one, but since it is a possibility, try to
emotionally prepare for the aspect of normal grief so
you won't be shocked and deny the facts when they
unfold. |
