|
Should I Choose a Funeral Service Or a
Memorial Service?
By Wayne Jordan
The executor whose decedent has pre-paid his funeral and
cemetery expenses is lucky indeed. When the decedent's
wishes are made clear, there is no second-guessing by
friends and family as to what the decedent "would have
wanted". In truth, it's rare that a decedent will
provide the details of their funeral arrangements. When
details are not provided, a family member or executor
must step in to make the arrangements.
If you've never planned a funeral before, the choices
available to you can be daunting. The commercial funeral
industry has an intimidating presence. The somber and
final atmosphere of a funeral home is not conducive to
comparison shopping. Most first-time funeral shoppers
are bewildered by the decisions that must be made at the
time of death. Executors and next-of-kin are not sure of
the "right" thing to do for the deceased. The emotional
trauma of bereavement, lack of information and time
pressures place the executor at a disadvantage in making
funeral arrangements.
First and foremost, funerals are family matters. The
religious traditions and family preferences may not be
known to the executor, so the family should always have
the first option to make the funeral decisions. However,
when a family member is involved in the funeral, they
may be emotionally distraught and have difficulty making
decisions. The executor should be present to assist and
to make sure the family does not fall prey to pushy
funeral directors. When no family member "steps up to
the plate" regarding the funeral, the executor should
take charge. A word of caution to executors when family
members refuse to be involved in the funeral: be sure to
log all conversations. If a family member objects to the
way you handled the final arrangements, you will have a
clear record stating who you spoke with and what the
outcome of the conversation was.
Funerals happen with such haste that many of the options
available for final arrangements are not even
considered. At its core, a funeral should accomplish two
things: provide for the timely disposition of the body
and commemorate the life that was lived. These two
functions do not have to occur simultaneously. Do not
feel pressured to have a service right away.
Two Types of Services
By separating the "disposition" and "memorial" functions
of a funeral service, many more options become available
to the executor. A funeral service usually takes place
within days of death; the body is always present at a
funeral. A memorial service is held without the body,
and after disposition of the body. A memorial service
can be delayed as long as is needed, to meet the needs
of the family. Scheduling a memorial service for a
future date enables out-of-town guests to take advantage
of discount airfare and hotel rates. There is time for
thoughtful planning when the "memorial" function is
delayed.
Wayne Jordan is a Virginia licensed Auctioneer,
Certified Personal Property Appraiser, and Accredited
Business Broker. He specializes in the Valuation and
Liquidation of Estate and Business assets. Learn more at
his website http://www.waynejordanauctions.com or his
blog http://www.wayne-jordan.blogspot.com. |
