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Proper Funeral Etiquette
By Bill Abernathy
A funeral is a somber and difficult time for everyone,
especially the loved ones of the deceased. It can be
difficult to find the right words and act appropriately
in such a serious setting, and this can be even more
challenging if you have not attended many funerals.
Knowing some guidelines before the funeral or memorial
service will help you act and speak appropriately during
a time of great sadness for the family and friends of
the deceased.
You may have seen a funeral scene in a movie where
everyone in attendance is wearing black clothes. While
this is traditionally the case, you do not have to wear
black. However, dark tones are appropriate and
conservative dress should always be worn out of respect
to the family. Do not wear clothes that call attention
to you, like a bright colored shirt, jeans or other
casual attire. Dark, muted colors are an appropriate and
respectful choice.
Often times, sending flowers to the family of the
deceased is appropriate. You can send flowers directly
to the funeral home or to the home of the family. Before
you do this, however, make sure you read the obituary
and funeral announcement. It is not uncommon for
families to ask for specific memorial gifts in lieu of
flowers. Sometimes, the family asks that you make a
donation or send a gift to a particular charity in lieu
of flowers. If this is the case, make sure you tell the
organization or charity is aware that the gift you are
giving is in the name of the deceased person. The
organization will let the family know of the donation
they received in the name of their loved one. If you are
unsure of the family's wishes, contact the funeral
director to find out where to send the gifts, donations
or flowers.
Many families choose to have visitation hours (otherwise
known as a Wake). This allows family and friends a final
time to say goodbye to their loved one. Usually,
visitation is held a day or two before the funeral
burial service, or right before the burial service. If
you attend a visitation at the funeral home, make sure
you sign the guestbook and express sympathy for the
family's loss. A simple hug or handshake with the
family, along with an expression of sympathy, is
appropriate when communicating with the family -
especially if you are not in a close personal
relationship with them. Making small talk with other
attendees is also appropriate, as long as the
conversation is kept quiet out of respect for the
family.
The funeral service may be of a certain religious faith.
If you are not a member of that faith, you can sit
quietly and observe. You will not be expected to
participate in any religious aspects of the service. You
are showing your support and respect for the family
simply by attending the service.
After the funeral, the family may hold a reception.
Usually, the reception is held for family members and
close friends of the deceased. If you are not a member
of the family or a close friend, do not attend the
reception unless someone extends you an invitation.
Funerals are a difficult time for everyone involved, but
knowing how to properly offer support to the family make
the experience a little less awkward. Knowing how to
act, what to say and how to dress will allow you the
opportunity to pay your respects at a funeral service.
Mr. Abernathy is a marketing agent of Morrissett Funeral
Home. When it's time to say goodbye to your loved ones,
you don't have to make arrangements alone. Morrissett
Funeral Home can help you with each step of the funeral
and memorial service process. For more information on
their Funeral Homes Richmond Virginia please visit their
website. |
