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Making Memorials Special
By Sean Schopf
Memorials are always very tough to put together; the
last minute preparations, the cost, and of course the
stress of losing a person dear to you. It's
understandable that the pressure is too much, but one
should try to make a memorial special. Encourage your
guest to instead of mourn the lost, try to celebrate the
life they lived. For the menu try serving all the loved
ones favorite foods. It brings up some conversations for
example "I remember when she used to cook this meal
every Sunday after church." Or "He always had to have
wings on game day during the football season." It turns
a sad depressing funeral into a bitter- sweet get
together to remember a dear friend.
Memorials are also a time where one gives their
eulogies. Encourage the speaker to have a little sense
of humor. They can tell some jokes they used to tell or
maybe a funny embarrassing (not to embarrassing) moment.
Sometimes it's good to have more than one speaker, have
all of your guest write one good memory about the person
and read it out loud. Depending on the individual, think
about having music. Make a mix CD of all their favorite
songs, songs they use to sing to, and songs they used to
dance to. Music always brings back memories and nice
conversation like "oh I remember how he used to sing
this song over and over again."
Visual aides are also a plus, though always tear jerkers.
Bring pictures and videos of birthdays, vacations, and
holidays. Bring up days when they were their happiest.
Also a good idea would be a timeline from birth to
death, bring up some achievements and accomplishments
they have done in their lives. Even if it was as minimum
as "he was a great dad."
When there are children involved it's important to make
them feel included in the plans. In making preparations
talk to them gently about deaths if the child is a small
child, let them draw a picture of their favorite memory
with their loved one. If the child is older let them
write a little eulogy and share it at the memorial.
Believe it or not being a part of the funeral helps to
cope with the grieving and gives a sense of closure.
In picking flowers try to remember the loved ones
favorite flowers and favorite colors. Traditionally we
usually get the lilies and the sad flowers that remind
everyone about death. Try to make the memorial more
about celebrating life. Pick flowers that if the person
were alive would make them smile. Colors that celebrate
the life they lived.
There will be grieving at a funeral. Always give a
moment of silence, it gives everyone a chance to quietly
collect their thoughts. Remember to say goodbye with
sweet memories and clear minds rather than having
everything around reminding you of death. So when your
stressed planning a memorial try to remember celebrate
the life that was lived.
Thank you for reading our article on making a memorial
[http://www.funeral-planning-online.com/memorials.html]
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